(Intermediate English Learners: Definitions for This Article Are At The Bottom of This Page. Enjoy!)
Dear English Learner,
The romantic topic of today is on a small three letter word called, ‘ego.’ Both men and women can have an inflated ego, although society usually considers men to be more egotistical than women. This is something that I don’t agree with as I have met both humble and prideful people from both genders.
To be egotistical means to value the way other people see you; to care strongly about your reputation. Moreover, egotistical people are often willing to allow harm to come to themselves or others if taking a more humble approach seems less desirable. Egotistical people have lots of difficulties in relationships since they usually value their egos more than the people they love. I will give you an example to help you understand this word more.
If a woman knew that she made a mistake yet was too ashamed to apologize, she MIGHT be egotistical. If her long-term boyfriend threatened to leave her over the mistake unless she apologized and she still refused to apologize, she is CERTAINLY egotistical. Egotistical people ignore the feelings of others to save themselves from shame.
Narcissistic people are often called egotistical, but not everyone who is called egotistical is a narcissist – narcissism is far worst. Narcissists don’t understand why other people won’t treat them as kings and queens; this is because, in their hearts, they truly believe they are worthy of royal treatment. While it is true that these feelings stem from an inflated ego – narcissists feel this way twenty-four hours a day – egotistical people may only act egotistically within certain situations.
Do you know anyone who behaves egotistically? Are you egotistical?
Often, prideful/egotistical people believe their partners’ love will survive their egotistical behavior, and because of this, they don’t change. Love is one of the most powerful emotions expressed by mammals, so it isn’t surprising that some people would come to that conclusion. On the other hand, selfishness, pride, and anger are sometimes just as strong. An inflated ego often reveals itself through these emotions, and if you have seen an appearance of them in any of your relationships, it would be wise to work on reversing this.
There are many stories in the world of partners that believed their relationships were strong enough to outlast that kind of abuse. Yes, I call it abuse. The English definition of abuse is to use or treat something or someone in such a way that he/she/it was never meant to be used or treated. Unfortunately, most of these stories end with the abused partner suddenly walking away from the relationship; the abusive partner is usually shocked. These people tend to underestimate the emotional damage caused to their relationships through their actions. Most partners speak out to the other partner about this egotistical behavior before it becomes a more serious issue, but given the nature of egotistical thinking, it is understandable why their partners may still refuse to change.
Today, you should think about your past and current relationships. Have you ever had a partner speak to you about egotistical behavior? How did you react? Sometimes, the problem may not be you – it could be your partner, and only in your heart would you know the truth. This article may not be for people like you. BUT, if sirens are ringing in your heart that a past or current partner is correct about you acting egotistically; this very day, it would be wisdom to start doing whatever it is that you need to do to prevent this behavior from happening again.
Intermediate English Learners, some English words have more than one meaning for the same word. The meanings of the words below only define the way these words were used in this article.
- Inflated (verb) – to become large; i.e. balloons are inflated
- Society (noun) – a large community in a culture
- Humble (adjective) – to not think oneself is better than another
- ‘Humble Approach’ – A phrase used explain the behavior of purposely being respectful and kind.
- Pride/Prideful (verb) – to behave as if you are better than another person
- Genders (noun) – speaking of males and females
- Reputation (noun) – the opinion other people have about you
- Desirable (adjective) – something that is wanted very much
- Ashamed (verb) – to be embarrassed and worried about the way other people view you or view something you have done
- Long-term Boyfriend – A phrase used to describe a male a person has been dating for a very long time.
- Threatened (verb) – to tell someone that you will do something bad if he or she doesn’t do what you want
- Shame (noun) – a bad feeling caused through worry of how other people will view you or view something you have done
- Narcissistic/Narcissist (noun) – to behave chronically prideful/a person who is unable to control their pride
- Narcissism (noun) – the state of being a Narcissist
- Survive (verb) – to not die in difficulty
- Behavior (noun) – a way of acting
- Mammals (noun) – humans and animals that do not lay eggs and their females produce milk for their babies
- Reveals (verb) – to show
- Appearance (noun) – when something shows itself before others
- Reversing (verb) – to go the opposite way; to do the opposite behavior
- React (verb) – to behave a certain way because something else happened
- Sirens (noun) – In this article, the word is used figuratively to speak of the strong feeling you may have if you feel guilty.
- Prevent (verb) – to stop something from happening; to stop something from finishing